If you’ve been following along with this series, you may remember Karissa’s story. Last year, during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, she bravely shared about the loss of her daughter, Kennedy Claire (KC), who passed away just two days after she was born.

Now, 18 months after saying goodbye to KC and four months into life with her son, Wolf, Karissa reflects on the tender, complicated road of pregnancy after loss. In this conversation, she opens up about navigating fear and hope side by side, relocating from Texas to the Midwest for a fresh start, and why a Mother’s Blessing, rather than a traditional baby shower, was exactly what she needed in place of a baby shower this time around. 

Name: Karissa Widder
Children names + ages: Kennedy Claire (17 months in heaven), Wolf (4 months)
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota (aka: Narnia)
Occupation: Social Media Marketing

You beautifully and vulnerably shared about your daughter, Kennedy Claire, passing away two days after being born with our community last year. How did you emotionally navigate pregnancy after loss? What helped you feel grounded or hopeful during the harder weeks?

Losing our daughter was the most difficult thing I’ve had to endure, but pregnancy after loss was a close second. Every day is a mental mind game of trying to remain hopeful and battling fear. To me, the only way through was to rely on my faith and lower all expectations for myself. Getting through each day was a win, and I tried not to add pressure to myself to be normal. Pregnancy after loss isn’t a normal pregnancy, so you can’t treat it as such. It’s much more emotionally intense. Practically, I got busy (baked!so!many!cakes!) to distract myself and also got extra ultrasounds and non-stress tests for peace of mind. 

What was Wolf’s birth like for you? Were there moments that felt healing, triggering, or both?

Our son's birth was absolutely surreal. He is 3 months old, and I’m just now beginning to process it. Truth be told, it wasn’t magical or healing in the moment. It felt raw and terrifying. When they put him on my chest, the only thing I could say was, “Is he real?” I couldn’t believe it (and honestly, I still have to pinch myself!). I am grateful for my amazing birth team, who were positive and calm. Even though I was fearful, they were treating me normally because it is normal for babies to be born healthy and alive, despite what my previous experience shouted at me in scary moments. To any mom about to give birth after loss, please know it will be hard but beautiful, as all the best things in life are.

What prompted your decision to move from Texas to the Midwest? What do you hope this new season in the Midwest brings your family?

After Kennedy Clarie passed away, we felt like a fresh start would be good for our family. It was hard to leave the places connected to her, but I’m grateful my pregnancy after loss was in a new place. This season of life here has already proven to be slower and more peaceful, which I’m so thankful for. 

Can you share the story behind Wolf’s name?

Our son's name is Wolf Austin, and although I had my doubts about naming him Wolf, the moment he was born, I knew it was him. There’s no big story behind his first name, though—I prefer unique names, randomly mentioned Wolf a long time ago to my husband, and he LOVED it. Austin is the city where his big sister was born. I wanted him to have a piece of her forever and I pray he thinks of Kennedy Claire every time he sees or hears his middle name. 

Your friends hosted a “Mother’s Blessing” for you before Wolf arrived. Can you share more about what that was and what it looked like?

The thought of a baby shower haunted me (What if we wouldn’t use the diapers, just like last time? How can I be excited when I’m so scared?) so we decided against that. My sweet friends knew this season deserved to be celebrated and surprised me with a mothers blessing. It was exactly what my heart needed: a calm morning spent praying, and encouraging me that I am capable and was created to be a mother. It encouraged me so much and prepared me for labor. I cannot recommend this enough for all expecting mamas! 

How would you describe Wolf’s personality so far? Any traits that remind you of yourself or your partner?

From the second I saw the positive pregnancy test, I knew it was Wolf and that he would be strong. He had to be, he was going to be with me for a pregnancy that would test me beyond anything else. Against all odds and emotions, he endured and is here. I can tell he has a strong and sensitive spirit, something that comes from both my husband and I.

Favorite part of your days lately?

We call Wolf’s bedtime routine “tender time” and it’s truly something we all look forward to. It’s the perfect calming reset after a hard day. We listen to the same playlist we had on during Wolf’s birth (highly recommend Deep Focus on Spotify— it’s so good!), read a book, pray, and every night feels like a dream come true. We have a baby! I can’t get over it.

What’s one thing you’re looking forward to in the next few months?

I am so excited to see Wolf's personality peek through, start solids, and take Wolf to my hometown in Florida. It’s the most special place in the world to me and I have always dreamed of bringing my babies there. It took a bit longer than I expected to actually do that, so it will feel even more special. 

What Solly product(s) do you already have and what are you currently loving/eyeing?

I wore the pajamas in the hospital after Wolf was born—they are so soft and perfect for the freshly postpartum mama. We’ve used the Solly Wrap so much when he was a newborn (I say we because my husband also loves it—real men wear babies!) and have just started using The Soft Carrier.

Time for a rapid-fire round of q's!
Drink of choice: Currently: Coffee. I love having a few cups a day and missed it so much during pregnancy!
Favorite sans-baby activity: Thrifting and workout classes, both feel like such a treat. Motherhood topic you could talk about forever: How moms are superheroes, and the invisible mental load of motherhood is NO JOKE.
Fave midnight feeding session snack: I wish I could say something other than this, but honestly, bread. Nothing hits at 2 am like a slice of sourdough.