In our weekly Full Heart Series, we share stories from our Solly Community that resonate, inspire, and remind us we're never alone. In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we’re honored today to share Karissa’s story, a courageous Texas mother who lost her daughter just two days after giving birth. As heartbreaking as it is, Karissa’s story isn’t the only of its kind. Roughly one in four mothers are impacted by pregnancy and infant loss. Whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or know someone who has, we hope Karissa’s story provides insight, hope, and a reminder that you’re not alone.
Name: Karissa Widder
Children: Kennedy Claire (3 months in heaven)
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Social Media Marketing
Kennedy Claire’s Story
I found out I was pregnant on Halloween, which happened to be the 3rd anniversary of our first date. It felt too good to be true…and it was. Our daughter, Kennedy Claire Lycette was born on July 19, 2024. However, there were severe complications during her birth and she passed away two days later on my chest. I will never think of that moment without getting chills. My baby became an angel in my arms.
How do you define your role as a mother?
My relationship status with motherhood is complicated. I had a baby, but I don’t HAVE one. I can contribute to conversations about pregnancy, labor, and delivery…but nothing beyond that. I had a daughter, but have never changed a diaper—every day I have to remind myself that this is my reality.
I’ve learned that I’m not the only one with a complicated relationship with motherhood. Lots of us are scared to be moms because of traumatic relationships with our own mothers, worried about balancing a career and motherhood, tired of another friend getting pregnant while we stare at a negative pregnancy test, feeling worn down by the monotony of motherhood—it’s complicated for all of us.
Right now my role as a mother looks like being strong for my future children, and not giving up on life just because it didn’t go how I pictured. I never imagined that at 26 years old I’d be planning my daughter’s funeral. It’s a cruel chapter, but it isn’t the end of my story. We are being as gentle with ourselves and our marriage as we would have been with our newborn. It’s a fragile time, but we are growing stronger.
Another aspect of motherhood I am navigating is integrating Kennedy Claire into our everyday life, even though she isn’t here. I had a special dress embroidered with her name and birthday to wear on her monthly milestones. Most moms take cute pictures of their babies each month. I can’t. I had to find a way to honor the milestones for me, and will have to do this for every other holiday and celebration.
Something you want to hold onto and remember from this season of life?
I am so much stronger than I think. All moms need that reminder. You can do one more feeding, you can do one more doctor appointment, you can do one more day of deep grief, because you are stronger than you think.
It’s only been three months since Kennedy Claire was born and I’m amazed at all I’ve made it through. When you look back, you realize how far you’ve come. Whether your babies are on earth or in heaven, it takes strength to be a mom—and that strength is already inside you. This season has taught me how strong I am simply because I am a mother.
What's something about child loss that you wish people talked about more?
Child loss is more common than you realize. I’m shocked at the amount of stories I’ve heard, so many women have come forward and said “me too.” Our modern American culture doesn’t know how to deal with grief well. We tend to shove everything uncomfortable under the rug. The most painful thing for a mother is for her child to be forgotten. If you have a friend who has lost a baby (full-term, 10 weeks, 12 days, it doesn’t matter), please don’t pretend like that baby didn’t exist. Say their name, bring them up in conversation, and don’t act like that precious miracle of a baby didn’t happen.
Favorite piece of advice you’ve received about motherhood?
They say it takes a village to raise a child—and it takes a village to survive child loss, too. You cannot close yourself off from life, the community, or the motherly instincts inside of you. As women, it is in our nature to nourish and love others, and to receive that same love, too. I’ve had to surrender the “I can do it myself” mentality—I can’t. I needed people to bring me meals, check in on me, cry with me, and celebrate my daughter with me. Whether your baby is in heaven or earthside, I imagine all moms need that, too.
What are three things in your loss mom starter pack?
- Lots and lots of counseling
- A healing hobby (best paired with a show that has 5+ seasons)
- Time. You need time, to be sad, happy, in nature, and to hope for the future. Time is the best gift you can give yourself as a loss mom
- Can I add a 4th? Friends who understand. Friends who have walked through this before me have been such an encouragement.
What’s on your Solly wishlist?
My wishlist involves a swan Solly Wrap (KC’s nursery was sort of swan-themed) and a baby to wear in said Solly.
Rapid-Fire…
Indulgence: A massage
Podcast: How’d She Do That?
Children’s book: Goodnight Moon & Angelina Ballerina were the only books we read to her.
Healing hobby: Needlepoint
After bedtime snack: Dark chocolate
