Breastfeeding often feels like a taboo topic. The time and energy mothers devote to nursing, as well as the joys and hardships associated with it, are rarely—if ever—acknowledged. But we’re hoping to change that, one story at a time. In honor of breastfeeding mothers around the world, our Leaked series shares real stories from our community. Here, Dani Derner, a mom of three in Austin, TX, shares about the wildly different feeding experiences she had with each of her three babies. 

Breastfeeding was something I had always dreamed about—those quiet, sacred moments bonding with my tiny baby, just the two of us. And while I have experienced that beautiful closeness, it didn’t come easily or naturally for me.

I’m Dani, a mom of three kids under five, and each of my breastfeeding journeys has looked completely different.

With my first, Liam, I breastfed the longest—five and a half months—but not without a lot of struggle. He latched right away but constantly fell asleep while nursing. At three months, he was diagnosed with a severe tongue tie. We had it revised, but the challenges didn’t disappear. I still had to use a nipple shield, and my milk supply was never enough. I tried everything—brewer’s yeast, lactation cookies, coconut water, supplements, power pumping—you name it. So began the exhausting cycle of triple feeding: nursing, pumping, supplementing with formula, every two hours around the clock. Add in severe postpartum depression and anxiety, and it felt like a perfect storm. Eventually, Liam weaned himself at five and a half months, and switching fully to formula helped my mental health improve tremendously.

With my second, Riley, I breastfed for two months. She was born at 35 weeks and spent ten days in the NICU. Coming back to a hospital room without a bassinet next to me was surreal. I triple fed her too—breast, pumped milk, formula—to make sure she was getting what she needed. At two months, I made the decision to fully transition her to formula so I could return to work (I run my own business). Today, she’s a happy, brilliant, thriving two-year-old.

Then came Henry, my third. And the strangest thing happened: my milk never came in. Not even colostrum. My OBGYN couldn’t explain it, and neither can I. But I knew this time that fed is best, and Henry has been on formula since day one. He’s nearly 5 months old now and absolutely thriving.

Breastfeeding is beautiful and it’s hard. It’s deeply personal and looks different for every mom. I’m grateful for my experiences—with all of their challenges and lessons—because they’ve taught me compassion, resilience, and the truth that there’s no one “right” way to nourish your baby.