Breastfeeding is often painted in extremes: either an effortless, natural bond between mother and baby, or a struggle whispered about behind closed doors. The reality for most parents lives somewhere in between—a mix of joy, exhaustion, resilience, and quiet victories that rarely make their way into everyday conversation.

At Solly Baby, we believe these stories deserve to be told. That’s why we created Leaked, a series dedicated to shining a light on the real, unfiltered experiences of breastfeeding mothers everywhere. In this installment, Texas-based mom of four, SJ Dicamillo, shares her journey of navigating breastfeeding with an unexpected IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) diagnosis—and the grace she’s found in redefining what it means to give her babies the very best.

Tell us a little bit about your breastfeeding story.

My breastfeeding journey was a rollercoaster of hopes, realities, tears and finally exhaling. I attempted to exclusively breastfeed with each of my four babies, with little success. On average, I was nursing 30% of what they needed and supplementing the 70% with formula. I was nursing every 2 hours for 30 minutes-1 hour each session, trying to pump in between, finishing just in time to nurse again, which left my supply depleted with every feed. I tried every lactation cookie, nutritional supplement, tip, trick and “tried and true” technique to increase my supply, but never achieved what I believed (at the time) to be the only acceptable outcome—exclusively breastfeeding.

I felt betrayed somehow by this body that just miraculously shifted and stretched to carry a baby, but was unable to supply food for him or her. I continued that feeding and pumping schedule, waking up every two hours myself to pump through the night to maintain the little supply I had, for a year with my oldest, 9 months with my second, 6 months with my third, and 4 months with my fourth.

It wasn’t until my fourth that I first found out about and was diagnosed with IGT, insufficient glandular tissue. In short, my breasts do not have enough milk producing tissue to produce a full supply. Part of me was devastated for my body seeming broken and incapable, but the other part had an immeasurable amount of grace for this body that has been chugging along for the better part of seven years doing something it was not fully equipped to do. The pressure I put on myself and my body to give my babies the best was likely affecting my supply as well. But my best was, in fact, what I was giving them. Every ounce I produced was celebrated and I’m so thankful for the help via formula needed to fill in the gap. At the end of the day, I had very healthy babies who have turned into equally healthy (and amazing) kids. And that’s the best I can hope for.

Something that surprised you about breastfeeding?

That it’s not a simple yes or no. It didn’t occur to me that I wouldn’t be able to in the fullest and complete way. I think the time and energy that went into my journey was also something that I was not prepared for on the front end.

Anything you wish others talked about more?

Wow, so much. I wish that IGT was talked about more. I wish that there was more grace for the process and that more was shared on having to do nursing and formula in tandem.

Three of your must-have breastfeeding products.

Miracle Milk Kookies, hands-free wearable pump, and silver nursing cups for pain relief!

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Any interesting nursing experiences?

Nursing in public. It was summer and a particularly hot year in Texas. We had stopped by a coffee shop to grab water to help cool down. I was nursing one of my babies and a woman who spoke a different language than I came and opened my nursing cover to peek at my baby. She was clearly a very sweet genuine grandma like figure but that’s a hard pass for me. The language barrier made the interaction interesting.

What would you tell a friend who's struggling with breastfeeding?

Your health is vital to baby’s health. If it’s causing anxiety and stress in you, reevaluate and pray if you feel comfortable to find what works best for you. It may look different than you had anticipated but that doesn’t mean it isn’t your best.

Best part of breastfeeding in your experience?

The excuse to step away from the chaos and have a time of stillness and rest with your baby.