5 Ways to Support a Parent Through Loss

In the United States, 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and 1 in 160 pregnancies ends in stillbirth. Whether we know it or not, it’s likely that someone in our circle—be it a friend, sister, coworker, or mama at the playground—has experienced a devastating loss. Still, despite how common pregnancy and infant loss is, it’s often experienced quietly and privately, leaving many mamas without the support they need to process and heal more than just their physical bodies.

In honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we asked moms in our community to share some of the things that were most comforting or helpful to them in their journeys. Here’s what they said:

1. Say something
It can be hard to find the right words when someone has suffered a loss—and the reality is, there’s no perfect thing to say. Still, reaching out and acknowledging the loss can go a long way in making someone feel loved and supported.

2. Avoid minimizing
Loss is loss, no matter when or how it happens. It can be tempting to look for a “bright side” by saying things like “at least it happened early” or “it wasn’t meant to be.” Instead, let your friend process their grief without pressure.

3. Offer practical support
Grief is all-consuming and often the most mundane daily tasks feel mountainous in the midst of it. Consider dropping off a meal, picking up groceries, running errands, helping out with chores, or offering to take older siblings on a play date to give the parents space to process and grieve.

4. Remember the important dates
A due date or birthdate is often a highly emotional and difficult day for the parent—and it’s one they’re certain to remember. Showing that you remember, too, by sending a thoughtful note or gift can be incredibly meaningful. 

5. Share your own story
Despite how common it is, miscarriage is often suffered through silently and alone. If you know someone who is currently walking through pregnancy loss and you’ve experienced it yourself, sharing your own story can be a beautiful way of offering affirmation and encouragement.

Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Finding support outside of family and friends can be beneficial for those who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Consider sharing this list of resources:

Postpartum Support International: PSI offers a wide range of resources for those who have experienced the loss of a child, including support groups, peer mentor programs, discussion tools, and a directory of health providers who specialize in treating patients who have experienced loss.

The Compassionate Friends: A nonprofit whose mission is to support families who have experienced the death of a child.

International Stillbirth Alliance: A nonprofit specializing in providing support to those who have experienced loss from stillbirth.

March of Dimes: A nonprofit that provides resources for mothers suffering from miscarriage, loss, and grief.