I have a theory: Every parent has one transition that feels world-rocking in a hard way. For some, it’s 0–1. For others, it’s 1–2. And some say it’s 2–3. (My other theory is that once you have three kids, adding more doesn’t feel like much—unless there’s a really big age gap).

Don’t get me wrong: welcoming a whole new human into your family is never easy or simple. But in my experience, there’s always one transition that comes with a steeper learning curve and a longer adjustment period. For our family, it was going from one child to two.

For some context: our first baby was a dream. So chill and smiley. Big chubby cheeks, an easygoing temperament, and a great sleeper (I know—we were lucky). Naively, I thought our second would be the same. I was wrong. My pregnancy with her was tough, and once she arrived, she was colicky and not nearly as good of a sleeper. In the early months of her life, when I was home with both kids solo (my husband is a firefighter and gone for 30 hours at a time), there were moments when both kids were screaming, I was covered in spit-up and tears, and I wondered if I’d survive.

The good news? I did. And as hard as it was, I learned so much along the way. In the spirit of parents helping parents, here are a few things that eased the transition for me from one to two kids:

We got outside every single day

Someone once told me that parenting without walls is easier than parenting inside them, and that’s been true for us. With our first, we spent so many of those early days cozied up in our newborn bubble at home. But with our second, being home created too many opportunities for my oldest to feel ignored or stir-crazy. Getting outside—even just for a short walk around the block or a Target run—helped ease the cabin fever and gave us all a reset.

I treated my carrier like the second set of hands I didn’t have

My Solly Baby Wrap and, later, the Soft Carrier became absolute lifesavers. Being able to keep my newborn close while still tending to my toddler’s needs made our days more doable. Babywearing gave me freedom, helped calm my colicky baby, and reminded me that I didn’t always need to choose between the two kids—I could meet both their needs at once.

We empowered our oldest to take the role of big brother seriously

Instead of focusing only on what the baby needed, we gave our oldest little “jobs” to help him feel included—like fetching a burp cloth, singing a song to his sister, or choosing her pajamas. It helped him see himself as an important part of our family’s new rhythm, not someone left on the sidelines. Now he’s her biggest fan and best friend, and their sweet relationship is one of my favorite things in the world.

I reminded myself: this is a season

The newborn stage is intense, but it’s not forever. I had to keep telling myself that the sleepless nights and the juggling act would ease with time. And they did. Babies grow, routines settle, and what once felt overwhelming slowly becomes your new normal.

I set realistic expectations for myself and our family

I let go of the idea that our house needed to stay as clean as it was before, or that I had to keep up with the same level of productivity. Instead, I gave myself permission to lower the bar and focus on what really mattered: keeping everyone fed, loved, and safe.

I asked for help

It’s so simple, but also so hard. I had to learn to let go of the pressure to do it all on my own. Accepting meals from friends, leaning on family, or hiring a babysitter for a few hours a week made a world of difference—and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this.

TLDR; We took it day by day—which is really all you can do

The jump from one to two was hard—harder than I imagined—but it also expanded my heart in ways I couldn’t have predicted. I got to watch my first baby step into his role as big brother, and I learned I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.

If you’re in the middle of this transition, I see you. It might feel impossible some days, but it is survivable. And one day, like me, you’ll look back and realize you can’t even remember life before both of them were here.