Preparing for motherhood is a bit like preparing for a tornado—you can gather everything you think you’ll need, spend time researching, and ask people who have experienced it before for advice—but no amount of preparation can actually prepare for the real thing. As the saying goes: Experience is the best teacher.
Still, though there isn’t a roadmap for motherhood (or at least, one we know of), it can be helpful to check in with yourself before baby arrives so that when you’re in a whirlwind of sleep deprivation, sore nipples, and dirty diapers, you’ve already intentionally thought through some of the basics.
And (trust us) the basics are more than enough to think through at first! There are a million questions you could ask yourself about motherhood, but the majority of them are hypotheticals that you won’t have answers to until you’re parenting in real-time. Instead, these questions focus on those early weeks and months of motherhood. Walk through them in your mind, write them down in a journal or phone, or schedule a pre-baby date night to discuss them with your partner.
- What are my expectations about dividing work around the house and caring for the baby?
- Who can I turn to when I need support or a break?
- What people do I want to play a part in our child’s life other than us?
- What were the good things about my childhood and what I want to replicate?
- What are some areas from my childhood that I want to improve upon for my children?
- What are the values I want to live by as a parent?
- How can I energize myself when I’m feeling drained?
- Is there a certain type of parenting style I’m drawn to? Is my partner on the same page?
- What are my biggest concerns about the baby phase?
- How will I know I’m doing a good job as a parent when I feel overwhelmed?
Remember: Your answers won’t be set in stone. They will ebb and flow with the seasons and your circumstances, and as you become more comfortable in your new role. You’ll make mistakes along the way (everyone does), you’ll make things up as you go (we all do), and you’ll find that kids are incredibly resilient in the midst of all of it (thank goodness). The fact that you care enough to read this means you’re already a great mom. You’ve got this. xx
P.S. We’d love to be part of your support team always, but especially during those first few weeks postpartum as you adjust to new motherhood. If a daily dose of encouragement for the first 40 days after baby arrives sounds like something you’d like, sign up here.
Cover image by @demi.rene.howard.
