Our favorite thing about Solly Baby is you; the community of parents doing the beautiful, messy, important work of raising little ones. And the more we have the privilege of getting to know you (over emails and DMs and social media and real-life bump-ins), the more we’re inspired by your stories. So much so that we knew we needed a way to share them. Which is how our Full Heart Series came to be. As we share stories from moms and dads around the world, we hope you’ll find something here that resonates, encourages, and reminds you that parenting with a full heart comes in many forms. Enjoy.
Let’s start with a quick introduction. Tell us the facts.
Name: Demi Howard
Children: Opaline (2 years), Porter (1 month)
Location: Waco, TX
Occupation: Online tutor
When was a time in the last week that your heart felt full?
This is now my third week postpartum, and we still have family and friends coming to visit, bringing us dinner, and helping in whatever ways they can. I am blown away by the generosity of not only loved ones, but strangers who know the significance of helping families during this season. My heart feels so full from the love showered over our family as they take care of me, so I can take care of this new little one. I seriously don’t know how people go through postpartum without help. We’ve been so blessed by the community around us.
Pregnancy cravings and aversions?
Cravings: Soda, peanut butter, cottage cheese
Aversions: Meat, coffee (my husband’s two greatest cravings)
Something about motherhood that has surprised you?
That it doesn’t always come naturally. I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I felt like it was part of my purpose in life. So when I had my first daughter, I often felt discouraged when things didn’t go as planned or feel natural. Things like breastfeeding or soothing my baby. It took time, patient work, and a whole lot of grace. It taught me how motherhood is a journey and a lifelong learning experience. That me and my daughter were learning together, each day. We aren’t meant to have it figured out and know all the answers, but we are meant to show up today and choose to love our child the best way we know how. And tomorrow, we wiIl “know how” a little bit more. It reminds me of the unending grace God gives to his children. As he continues to give me grace as a mom, I am better able to pour out that grace on my own children.
Birth story?
Overall, I had a great hospital experience with my first child, but I knew I wanted to try the natural route this pregnancy. Little did I know I chose the biggest baby to go unmedicated. I still can’t believe I did it. I had the best experience with the midwives at Waco Birth Center.
Here’s how labor unfolded… Contractions started Monday night about 30 minutes apart, so I thought surely it would happen Tuesday. It did not… Tuesday night I had more contractions around 15 minutes apart but they weren’t getting closer together. I started to feel nervous all of Wednesday like, “How much longer can I do this?!” and “I haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet!”
I tried to distract myself all day with my mom and daughter. The contractions began to pick up again Wednesday night. I tried my best to make it through the night but by 3 am they were too close together, and I knew it must be time. We headed to the birthing center, and I was dilated 8 cm! It was such relieving news because I was afraid they were going to tell me I was only dilated to a 4 or below. I was happy to know I labored hard on my own as long as I could.
My mind totally shifted once I got to the birthing center, knowing it was close and I had no other choice but to push this baby out! The midwives were so calm, praying over me and the baby the entire time. They didn’t intervene until they saw his head. His big ol’ head got stuck for a moment, but they helped him out on the next push. I got in the bath around 5 am. My water broke at 6 am. I started pushing at 6:30 am and baby was out at 6:37 am.
Porter entered the world at a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz with a 15.5 inch head. They said it was the largest head they ever delivered! I could not have done it without the support of not only the midwives, but my sweet husband James. He was there for every contraction, helping with counterpressure or hand-squeezing. He encouraged me the whole way through. It really made me believe if I could do this, anyone can! I definitely had doubts throughout my pregnancy, but felt so empowered that I was able to do it. Proud of my body and my mind. Birth is a wild, beautiful, and holy experience. God is so good!
Define motherhood in five words or less.
Full of purpose
Top 5 most-used baby items in the newborn stage?
- Snuggle Me Pillow
- Baby Carrier
- Breastfeeding Night Light
- Swaddle
- Bedside Bassinet (that opens)
When do you feel at your best as a mom?
When both of my children are taken care of. As I am learning to be a mom of two, it is difficult when I feel like I can only help one of them at a time. When both are at ease and thriving, I feel most at peace.
First place you took your baby other than the pediatrician’s office?
A coffee shop across the street from the birthing center. I did not want coffee all of my pregnancy, but the moment I delivered my baby, I wanted it so bad! It’s crazy how your body can change in an instant!
Something you loved to do before baby that you’d like to start up again eventually?
Running! It is difficult to find the time to go out running by myself, but it is such a good form of therapy for me.
First thing you ate after giving birth?
Jersey Mike’s Sandwich
Something about motherhood that you wish people talked about more?
That it can feel lonely at times. So many of us are doing the same things everyday, but we’re typically doing them alone at home. Making food, doing laundry, changing diapers. We can all relate to the same sorts of things, yet it can be a secluding experience. When time is spent mostly with little ones and rarely with other adults, it can take a toll on you! That is why it is so important to connect with other moms. Meeting in person when we can, but always communicating our shared experience in motherhood.
What has the fourth trimester been like for you so far this time around?
Overall, it has been wonderful. I feel like I am soaking in the newborn phase as much as I possibly can. There is more confidence and less anxiety the second time around. The challenge this time, however, is balancing life with a toddler and a newborn. My sweet 2-year-old has so much energy and wants to play and explore, while my newborn needs attachment and requires more of me at the moment. Fortunately, family and friends have stepped in to spend time with my toddler and play with her when I can’t. That has been by far the most helpful ask during these first few weeks.
Favorite piece of advice you’ve received about motherhood?
Nothing is forever. Each stage is temporary. This is in regards to the hard stuff—the sleep regressions, the teething, the temper tantrums, the accidents, the messes—you name it. Each stage comes with its blessings and its challenges. Each challenge won’t last forever.
Three things in your new mom starter pack?
- Silverettes: These healed me quickly in the first few days of breastfeeding
- Portable Pump: Game-changer. I had such a hard time being plugged into a wall pumping with my first child. The portable pumps make pumping so much easier and more convenient.
- Tucks Witch Hazel Pads: For postpartum recovery
Time for a round of rapid-fire favorites…
Indulgence: Donuts
Children’s book you never tire of: Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
Drink of choice: Coffee or Wine
Mama-time activity: A long quiet bath
Motherhood-related topic you could talk about for 15 min uninterrupted: Birth stories
After bedtime snack: Dark chocolate-covered almonds
