Breastfeeding often feels like a taboo topic outside of the parent community. The time and energy mothers devote to nursing, as well as the joys and hardships associated with it, are rarely—if ever—acknowledged. But we’re hoping to change that, one story at a time.
In honor of breastfeeding mothers around the world, our Raw Milk series shares real stories and experiences from our community. Here, Marifer Fitzpatrick, a mother of four with another on the way, shares about her experience tandem nursing twins.
I’m a mom of four and currently pregnant with baby number five. During my last pregnancy, I had twins. Looking back, breastfeeding them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Some of our challenges actually started before the twins were born. As a military family, we were stationed on a small island in Southeast Alaska when I got pregnant. The town we were stationed in only had one hospital and it didn’t have the proper equipment to handle a premature birth. Since the probability of premature delivery is higher with twins and we didn’t want to take any risks, we made the decision to relocate back to Texas near family for better support and care.
My husband helped the kids and I make the move back to Texas and stayed with us for a month before the twins were born. I ended up making it to 38 weeks and 5 days and delivered naturally without any complications. He returned to work in Alaska just two weeks after the twins’ arrival and was away for three or four months total. Although I was living with my parents and my husband’s family was only 15 minutes away, it was extremely difficult adjusting to a new routine away from home while healing from birth and caring for my two oldest children along with newborn twins.v
Feeding the twins was a completely different experience than feeding my first two kids. With my first, I could focus on just one baby. Since I was new to breastfeeding and motherhood, I was not well educated about the importance of pumping regularly, or even at all. I simply nursed my baby when she wanted, which eventually led to a lower milk supply. Because of this, I had to supplement with formula because I wasn’t producing enough breast milk. However, in the long run, I was able to still nurse her while supplementing formula for about 16 months until I found out I was pregnant with my second. My nursing experience with him was similar—I breastfed and supplemented with formula to keep him full.
With the twins, everything was more intense. The biggest challenge was managing feeding two babies at the same time. I had to learn how to tandem nurse to keep them both on the same schedule and each baby had their own unique feeding patterns and preferences, which required constant adjustment and patience. The exhaustion was overwhelming, and there were moments when I doubted myself and my ability to keep up. I remember the countless nights trying different holds, and the sense of accomplishment when I found something that worked, even if just for a little while.
There was more pressure to keep up my milk supply since I was feeding two instead of one. I had to be very diligent about pumping and staying hydrated, which wasn’t always easy with other kids to take care of. It was overwhelming. There was also the pressure to succeed at breastfeeding despite the difficulties. I felt a constant sense of guilt and frustration because this was my third pregnancy and my third and fourth babies. I kept telling myself that I should know better by now how breastfeeding works and that my body should handle it better since it wasn’t the first time we were going through this.
I got really sick when the twins were around 5 months old and it took a toll on my ability to maintain our feeding schedule. I wasn’t able to pump or nurse as often as I usually did during that week, and as a result, my milk supply began to decrease. Despite my efforts to rebuild it, things just weren’t the same afterward. My body wasn’t responding like it had before, and I could tell that the twins were getting frustrated. It was a tough decision, but I eventually took it as a sign that it was time to stop nursing. I had to accept that my body was telling me it couldn’t keep up anymore, and I wanted to ensure the twins were getting what they needed, even if it meant transitioning away from breastfeeding.
Despite being away from home, my husband was my rock during my feeding journey with the twins. As an emotional support, he understood how important breastfeeding was to me and did everything he could to make it easier. His support made a huge difference and I couldn’t have done it without him.
Reflecting on my experience with breastfeeding the twins has taught me a lot about resilience and patience. Although it was challenging, it deepened my appreciation for the complexities of motherhood. Despite the struggles, seeing my twins thrive made it all worthwhile.
For new mamas who are struggling with breastfeeding, I’d tell them that they’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help. Reach out to a lactation consultant or a support group for guidance and encouragement. Be patient with yourself and your baby, as it can take time to get the hang of it. It's important to take care of yourself too, and know that any amount of breastfeeding is valuable. Remember, fed is best, and you're doing a great job no matter how you choose to feed your baby.
