Before your baby arrives, it’s easy to imagine the two of you exactly as you are—just with a baby in the picture. You talk through names, daydream about what life will look like once they’re here, and feel genuinely ready to take on this new chapter together.
Then baby comes and everything changes.
Going from a well-rested duo to a sleep-deprived trio is a seismic shift. And like most things in early parenthood, it looks different for everyone. Maybe you’re navigating postpartum mood changes. Maybe your partner had to return to work far sooner than either of you felt ready for. Maybe you’re both home, together—all the time—figuring it out as you go. The specifics may vary, but there’s often a shared truth underneath it all: adding a tiny, incredibly needy human to your family brings new pressure to your relationship. Even the strongest partnerships feel it.
The good news? There are ways to move through this season with less pressure and more grace. You and your partner are a team from day one. Your biggest supporter. Your safe place. But when no one is sleeping and everything feels unfamiliar, even small moments can feel emotionally charged. Being proactive—rather than reactive—can make a meaningful difference, not just as you prepare for parenthood, but as you care for your relationship within it.
Here are a few gentle ways to stay connected during those hazy newborn days:
1. Go on a babymoon
Even if it’s just a weekend at a nearby Airbnb. Setting aside intentional time together before baby arrives creates space to talk through hopes, expectations, and the things you’re quietly nervous about. And yes—enjoy each other, too. Later, when you’re deep in cluster-feeding nights and wondering how it’s only 2 a.m., those photos (and memories) can be a comforting reminder of what you share.
RELATED: 6 Things to Discuss With Your Partner Before Baby Arrives
2. Set aside time for daily check-ins
Stress has a way of piling up in early parenthood—work pressures, family dynamics, a baby who will not be put down. Even a few minutes a day to check in can help you feel like you’re carrying it together. Share what’s weighing on you. Listen without fixing. Sometimes being heard is enough.
3. Show your gratitude
It’s easy to overlook the quiet ways your partner shows up—especially when you’re both running on fumes. Call out the small things: the refilled water bottle, the diaper pail emptied without being asked, the meal you didn’t have to think about. Little acknowledgments build goodwill. So do small gestures of kindness, like grabbing a surprise coffee or offering to take over baby duty so your partner can rest.
4. Don’t skimp on physical touch
As a team full of moms, we get it—the feeling of being touched-out is real, especially in those early days. But while skin-to-skin with baby is essential, physical connection with your partner matters too. A quick kiss, holding hands in the grocery store, or a short back rub are all small gestures that help keep your bond present, even when intimacy looks different than it used to.
5. Put the phone down
At the end of the day, collapsing into bed with a scroll can feel like the easiest form of escape. But when screens replace connection, resentment can quietly creep in. Try to carve out a little device-free time together before bed. Even watching a show you both love counts—it’s less about conversation and more about choosing togetherness.
This season is tender and demanding. It won’t look perfect, but with a little intention (and realistic expectations, and plenty of grace), you can keep finding your way back to each other, even in the fog.
Cover image by @karinkopersen
