Knowing what to say when a mama has suffered a loss can feel so tricky that we sometimes end up saying nothing at all. But showing our support means everything, so we asked mamas who have been in the trenches to share what was most comforting or helpful for them on their journeys. Here's a solid resource to turn to next time you need some inspiration or guidance. (And seriously how sweet is that husband? đ) Feel free to add additional ideas in the comments, too. Â Â âWhen I go, Iâll watch over baby until you can. Iâll make sure your baby knows how loved they areâ. When [my grandmother] passed it made me feel a little more at peace knowing she was going to meet the baby we never got to hold. @ashleynicolemiller_
I always found words were so awkward to respond to...I never knew what to say back, so I liked it when people would just give me a hug. @thelittlest3  A woman who struggled for many years to become a motherâŚtold me throughout my journey and when the pain becomes unbearable, to remember to be a mother to myself. @robinalaina  Saying his name. People think that if they mention your child, they will remind you of the loss. But what they donât understand is that your child is ALWAYS on your mind. You could never remind me, because he is never forgotten. Saying his name shows me that others remember him, too. @alyssa_carper  Just say something. Donât stay quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing, just acknowledge the loss and show your support. @melliewoods 
My friends purchased a plant (rather than sending flowers). It now lives happily in my backyard and is a way for me to remember. @sam.delves  It gave us comfort and encouragement when others opened up and shared their journey. We appreciated those that listened and did not try to justify or explain our loss...and hugs were so very comforting! @corarattle 
A friend remembered our due date and sent me a card around that time. @hjaderogers One of my dear friends said to me: âMy heart aches with you.â She met me where I was at without diminishing or dismissing how I was feeling. @jgunk87 It was easier when people would say, âI am dropping off dinner this day or this dayâ instead of asking, âWhat do you need?â @Hannahllyn  Honestly for me, I just wanted to know other people were sad with me. I didnât need any words of encouragement, I just didnât want to be sad alone. @sarahpowerscyr 
Validation meant everything to me. I didnât like having to pretend it didnât happen or pretend that I was over it. Simply talking to me openly about it and acknowledging what I went through helped immensely. @ivyelkington  When someone reached out to say: âhow can I support you right now?â We all deal with it / grieve in different ways, so your needs for the same situation look different than mine. Just that question alone is what stood out most for me and then feeling comfortable to express what I needed. @Twinkleandtoast  Talk about it! So many people would just avoid talking about it in thinking I wouldnât want to. The last thing I wanted to do was just go on like it never happened. Itâs all I could think about. @Tayleraperez
