June: Calm

May 30, 2019

I wanted more calm in my life, but I had always believed that when certain things happened there was a necessary and natural and UNAVOIDABLE feeling connected to it.

Like, when my baby cried of course that meant I SHOULD feel stressed because good moms feel what their baby is feeling, right? Or when my husband is feeling down then I should be down too in order to support him. Or when I feel anxious I should also feel bad about being anxious because what kind of a CEO or good mom feels anxious?!

I asked myself, what if there is no necessary and natural and unavoidable feeling? What if my emotions are ALWAYS a choice? What if most of the emotions I experience have just been happening unconsciously?

I questioned if feeling stressed was really helping my baby when she cried. Or if joining a friend in her bummer day wasn’t actually as compassionate as I thought. Or maybe setting a peaceful example for my children is more powerful than arguing with them about arguing? And what if I could actually feel calm about feeling anxious? Mind blown.

“Essentially, what if I could create calm no matter what the circumstance?”

Every time my brain wants to go to frustration or overwhelm or stress or sadness I ask myself if that feeling will serve me best in this situation. If it won’t, I do my best to reroute. Sometimes I truly want to feel sad, this isn’t about avoiding negative emotion, it’s about feeling on purpose and choosing emotions that create the results I truly want and the person I want to be.

You don’t need anybody to change to have more calm in your life and you don’t need to mirror anyone’s emotions to be a good mom or a friend or a good anything. Mirroring people’s emotions is not empathy. When I am calm I am so much better at being empathetic and showing up in a way that I am proud of and that helps other people.

I am to the moon excited to explore this more with you this month and have you noticed I started doing LIVE COACHING on IG Live? It’s vulnerable and uncomfortable and hilarious and transformative. Meet me on IG Live every Thursday this month at 9am PST.

 


 

 


+ Pick a calming mantra: Calm is always an option. Nothing has gone wrong here. I can be calm even when nothing else is. When your brain is tempted to go to an old knee-jerk feeling, think of your mantra.

+ Come to live coaching with me every Thursday at 9am pst on Instagram Live where I coach mothers on finding more calm.

+ Read one of these inspirational calming books.

+ Find more calm in your relationship with my favorite new podcast: Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay.

+ Take a walk every single day this week! I don’t care how cliche it is – it works!

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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Home + Family , Wellness

May: Identity

May 3, 2019

I learned a new word. MATRESCENCE. It means the process of becoming a mother. For some reason it feels so validating to have a word for it. It’s that transition period nobody talks about between pregnancy and postpartum. Where I’d never felt so certain that I was in the right place at the right time and, yet, I wasn’t quite sure who “I” was anymore. With each birth, all four of them, I have felt the discomfort. The inadequacy as I learn how to care for another human & the newfound confidence as I somehow survive it all, some days even thriving / the confusion of what I should be doing hour by hour & the total clarity of my mission to care for this baby / the insecurity as I look at the extra skin and broken veins & the acceptance as I embrace being more than a body / the isolation as I hold a crying baby in the middle of the night & the sense of freedom as I realize how few things truly matter.

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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Home + Family , Wellness

Top Three Feelings

This week on Instagram Live we’ll be talking about Vulnerable Motherhood. Postpartum is an easy time to feel like everyone else has power over your emotions (your baby, your partner, your hormones!) but you. This guide and our conversation will help you get some leverage over how you’re feeling and help you learn how to “feel” on purpose so you can enjoy this postpartum period rather than just survive it. To get the most out of the conversation, download this worksheet and jot down some thoughts or you can do it live with me as you watch!

You can join me on our Instagram page here.

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Tags : Tips + Tricks , Wellness

April: Strength

April 3, 2019

I used to think strength meant loud and outspoken and unrelenting. Sometimes it is. But motherhood has taught me that strength is also soft and thoughtful and peaceful. It takes strength to say no. Strength to slow down. Strength to wait. Strength to say sorry. Strength to be uncertain. Strength to be imperfect. Strength just to show up. Strength to be afraid. Strength to accept what is. Strength to live with your whole heart.

This month we’re going to explore strength in motherhood. Join me on Instagram Live this Thursday at 9am PST. I’ll be sharing my top 5 Tips for Rising Strong (aka getting off the bathroom floor when life is hard).
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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Wellness

March: Inspire

March 5, 2019

What kind of parent did you dream you’d be? Have you taken the time to ask yourself lately? Whenever I am in a slump as a mother, it’s generally because somewhere along the way I stopped envisioning and started just surviving. It can feel too daunting to stop and imagine what I really want our time together to look like and the kind of mother I want to be when I’m in the thick of it, but when I take even just a minute to get more intentional, my whole perspective shifts. It’s never perfect (not even close!), but it’s enough to start making memories again rather than counting down until bedtime. This is the month to get inspired in your parenthood. You can be the mother you always thought you’d be. Whether you work or stay-at-home or something in-between, let’s pause, dream a bit, and then make it a reality.
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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Wellness

February: Connection

February 2, 2019

I’ve birthed four babies. Some of those babies I felt connected to in the womb and others it wasn’t until months after they were born before I felt the same level of connection. I knew I loved them, but the connection was different. It was easy to judge myself for that, like it was something to be embarrassed of or represented a deficiency in my ability to love or mother, but it’s something I’ve let go of. Relationships develop differently, rarely do they come in a single moment and that’s just fine. Judging it, resisting it, and shaming ourselves only brings us further from authentic connection. I’m so excited to explore our #motheryourself theme of *connection* more this month. Whether you’re wanting to feel more connected to your baby, your partner, yourself, or someone you don’t even know (you know Oprah, Joanna Gaines and I are all 3 BFFs, right?) there are many things we can do to increase that connection and I’ll be sharing them all throughout the month. Join me here & on IG Live (almost) every Thursday at noon PST!
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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Wellness

January: Renew

January 3, 2019

You did so much last year. You may not think you did, but I promise you that you did. Some of you may not have included how many school lunches you made or finding your way through postpartum depression or how many times you got up with a fussy baby or going back to work after maternity leave on your Christmas card, but they should be acknowledged somewhere. I made myself a list of all the things I did last year. Everything from staying mostly patient with a teething toddler to grieving personal loss to running and growing this company. Then I thanked myself. I actually typed it out – THANK YOU, SELF. I think you should do it too. This is the month for renewal. It’s not the month to think about all you didn’t do last year and then guilt yourself into doing more this year. Renewal comes from recognizing all that you did do and, coming from that place of gratitude and compassion, deciding what you WANT to do this year. Or just this month. Or just today.

 

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Tags : Book Club , Tips + Tricks , Wellness